JC's photo

JC's Writing

My personal space to publish my thoughts

Sitting still

As I said before, I'm currently unemployed and taking some time off from work and, in particular, from programming stuff. I've done some things during this past month, in particular a coding assignment for a new job that I'm applying to, but that's it.

Now, travelling through Rome in Italy, I'm again in that moment where I feel a bit lost, I can't find a purpose or reason for doing stuff.* I had a kind of breakdown the other day where I felt that everything was meaningless.* I think that I still believe that, since that has been my way of thinking for a long time already, but someone very important to me held me in her arms and just told me this:

Don't give up on the world

I have to say, it made me break into tears.

After a couple of days from that moment, my mind is still trying to recover from those dark thoughts, trying to keep them under control. Is hard for me, I don't think it is impossible, but certainly hard.

And just now, what gave me the strength to write this, was watching this old video again, a meditation from Pico Iyer, "the art of stillness". Is a long favorite of mine, I rewatch it from time to time and it always helps me. You can watch it here, is a 15 minutes video, that for me is completely worth it.

"So in an age of acceleration, nothing can be more exhilarating than going slow. And in an age of distraction, nothing is so luxurious than paying attention. And in an age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still."

Take care of your mental health and don't give up on the world.